Wednesday, May 22, 2013

You Will Discover the Power to Finish Strong (In the Bathroom)

Yes, it has been super long since my last blog post. Terribly sorry for the hiatus. Just blame the end of school. And exams. And block class. And Canadians.
Clearly, this guy caused all my problems. He is clearly determined to end this blog...and humanity.
Probably the class which I ended up doing the most work for this semester was Novels class. Our instructor can be properly described as "killer awesome." The awesome part comes from how she's so quirky and fun and friendly with the students. As for the killer part, well...let's just say that you have to keep your head above the water to avoid drowning. In the last few weeks of class, we had to read The Pilgrim's Regress (which is a shorter book, but allegorical and therefore challenging), complete two forum posts on the book, write a two-page paper on the book, and take an exam on the book. As well as complete a 20-slide PowerPoint on A Study in Scarlet. Doesn't seem too difficult at first, until you realize how hard it is to think of material to cover 20 slides. Fortunately, I was able to finish most of the PowerPoint before the due date on Saturday. All I had left was to format a few more slides before midnight and I would be covered.
Unfortunately, this Saturday due date also fell on the day when my church in Escanaba would be hosting a meal for some of the neighborhood folk. Of course I would enjoy going to it, but there is virtually no WiFi in Escanaba. Meaning that, if I wanted to turn in my PowerPoint on time, I'd have to get it done early that day.
Saturday eventually came around and, as it turned out, I slept a little later than I wanted to (Hey, give me a break; I'm sure you would too after a busy week). I was able to work on the PowerPoint a little bit before brunch, but after brunch I ended up hanging out with a friend for a bit longer than I anticipated. Oh well, I still had Plan B. Before we would leave, I could wrap up the PowerPoint in the remaining hour. However, my RA managed to talk me into playing some Ultimate Frisbee for fifteen minutes. Fifteen minutes stretched to a half hour, and by the time I was showered off it was time to leave.
This was where I had to put Plan C into action. After the dinner, the students and I had plans on going to Walmart. I would hop into the McDonald's at the Walmart and use the WiFi there to submit my PowerPoint.
Here's where things get interesting: My computer decided to act stupid and remained on while sitting in the car, so throughout the dinner it was meaninglessly depleting its power. Just like a squirrel who saves up a lot of nuts for the winter and then gets hit by a truck. A robot squirrel made by Toshiba which ate little electric nuts. Of course, this could easily be conquered by plugging into a socket in the Walmart McDonald's and charge it up while working.
Aha, Watson! The game's afoot!
That is, it would be conquerable, if there were sockets there. Which, somehow, there weren't. I'm pretty sure Canadians built this McDonald's. I pulled aside the leader of our team, Michael, and informed him of my plight. He advised I try the McDonald's across the parking lot; the team would come and pick me up when I was done. Surely, there would be sockets in that McDonald's. It would be crazy if there were none.
Well, I checked every inch of those walls, and only one was there. Unfortunately, if I were to use it, I would trip everybody on a stretched power cable. Not exactly good for McDonald's and their business. However, I did think of one location which I hadn't checked yet, and it would have a power socket for sure. I shot this text to Michael: "No sockets in the dining place. Find me in the men's room."
"You will discover the power to finish strong" (in the bathroom).
Sure enough, there was a socket right by the sink. Unfortunately, it was too far away from the toilet, so I couldn't sit down and work. Instead, I had to kneel at the counter and tap away at the laptop by the sink, risking awkward encounters with anyone who came in the room.
Surprisingly, not too many people cared that I was there. Four out of six guys didn't even look at me. One guy did mention that I had picked an odd spot to do my work. The sixth and final guy asked if the bathroom was down for maintenance (Yes, of course, because this is a very technological bathroom and I need to use my laptop to expand the memory of the toilet paper and update the hard drive in the urinals). When Michael walked in, all he could describe it as was that "It seemed like it was taken right out of a movie." Somehow, the image of a college guy kneeling by a laptop in a public restroom would fit perfectly into a comedy.
Fortunately, I did submit my PowerPoint in time. Only to discover that there was indeed WiFi at the house I was staying at. I still blame Canadians, though.
#headdesk